working with a workaholic and unlimited boss

Stop pushing me to my limit.... do not try to transform me into someone I can never be. Do not try to compare me to who you are and to what you can do... We are not the same...and I love the way I am...

Has it occurred to you that maybe, the God whom you have so much faith with, had other plans for me? Did you ever come to the point of thinking that maybe, I wasn't designed to be 'exactly' the way you are, or to be exactly the way you want me to be? God has plans for all of us…My life is designed differently from yours. Why not just leave everything in His hands?

I do appreciate the reason why you are doing all that. I appreciate how you want to see more of me. You said you want to develop and discover my hidden talents... and I’d like to thank you for that. But do not fail to consider my opinions... do not disregard my feelings...

I am a human, not a machine. Not a computer that you just can program and ask to do everything that you want me to do. I have emotions... I have limitations... I can get tired... See how different we are?

You believe you are unlimited… are you God? You believe you can do everything… can you turn water into wine?

I know you’ll say you can--through your faith… and blah blah blah so your lecture goes, with me ending up like a pagan as if I do not believe in the existence of God.

I have my own faith to live by… my own religion and beliefs to follow. I don’t pray as often as you do, but I do believe in God… and I do talk to him too… I do pray… I do not read the Bible everyday (now)…but i do read it... and when i do, i try not to just rely on my own understandings.. when i do, i don't act like i already know everything and i don't treat anyone who are reading more seldom than i do as a lesser person.

The one story that always comes to my mind when I think of the bible is how Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane? (I told you I am not good in memorizing names and verses). He is in doubt if he should really die in the cross (as his life was designed to end that way) to be able to redeem the world of its sin…(anyway) And so I thought, if that was God’s plan, then the ‘killer’ was also designed to ‘kill’ the Son of God so that the prophecy would come true. Their lives are designed differently.

And so do our lives. You are meant to be my senior and I am your junior. Because things won’t work properly if we are design to do the same and be a replica of each other.

If that’s the case, I’ll be bossing around you too. I’ll be asking you to go home after 5 or 6 and not to bother me anymore about work beyond that time (esp. at 12 midnight) ...and to not rush everything driving people around you nuts. I would ask you to get more than 4 hrs of sleep daily so as not to disturb others in their sleep. I would ask you to try to do what the people under you are doing and let us see how much you can do in a day. I’ll be asking you not to boast how many who had worked under you went to the bathroom in the middle of your conversation just to cry and let everything they are feeling out. Because I don’t think that’s something you have to boast about.

I’ve talked to some of them and still others (working around you) reluctantly tell their opinions about you. And yes, you are right; they are all saying that their lives are much better now. Do you care to know why? It’s because you are not around anymore. They can handle pressure and stress now because they are living a worry-free life. It’s because they do not have a workaholic, unlimited boss to tell them to rush things and do everything in one day. (They were just riding along you when you are around, are you even aware of that?)

I’m tired… I am not God… I am just here to follow His will… not to do everything that only He alone, can do. I don’t want to worry myself about the things that I don’t have any business about. I have faith in Him more than you think I have. And I am leaving everything in His hands.

Call it mediocrity, but I want to remain myself…And i'd rather be myself than be the boss that you are... because I love the people around me and I don’t want them to lose their sanity... If I would change, it would be a process that would happen in His time…it will be only because of God’s will and intervention… not of anyone else…